All Dogs Go To Heaven

She had a nose that was constantly working. Eye's that were always smiling. A tail longer than a baby. An endless amount of things to say and no problem with saying them loud. The happiest heart and most beautiful colors on her coat. She was a great listener, and the best entertainer. She loved carrots and pretending to be intemidating to squirles. She liked to lick the lotion on my legs and cracked me up when she would waggle her eyebrows when she was half asleep. She had an endless amount of hair that is like glitter, once it gets on you there's no getting off. But thats ok, I want her with me. I love you Chanely, Thanks for always being the one thing we all had in common, the one thing all of us always loved and will never stop loving.

Sara Cross

psshtt....

I do this. I do this all the freaking time. Shame on you for using me the way you did the first time. But you know what? Shame on me for letting you use me the next...uh well like 50 times HA! That's OK though. I have learned so much from all of it. I have learned that I am worth the effort EVERYDAY not just every few days. I have learned that I don't care TOO much, I just need to find people that care just as much as me. I can't even pretend like this is about one person, because being completely honest with myself, its not, I let people do this to me all the time. Despite fervent efforts on my part (well occasionally) I'm not so sure I can just say, hey! I'm gonna start looking out for myself a bit! This is unrealistic for someone like me. However, even though its going to hurt me, I need to slowly start easing these people out of my life. I'm not, and have ever tried to pretend to be, some amazing person, but you know what? I put everything I have into the relationships around me. If I have ever told you that I love you, it's because I sincerely do. I put every effort I can into making sure that you are happy in every aspect. So do I not deserve the same? I wonder if I stopped trying so hard to reach out to people to make sure that they're doing good...how many relationships of mine would die out? How many people that I care SO much about would try at all? I know that I have best friends who would....but then again I think I know who wouldn't. So guess what I have to say to all of that malarkey...Psshtt...

JUST DO IT!

Firstly I would like to cordially welcome you all into a highly anticipated year! 2012! I hope you have all achieved your life's dreams because apparently we are all going to die this year....sorry. Some of you may be laughing, as have I once or twice perhaps, but you know what? Maybe they're on to something. I cannot even begin to list the amount of things I have set out to do then justified not finishing. We all do it. So what if instead of making this just another year, we live it like the last. What if we do everything we've said we've always wanted to do. What if we start becoming a person that our Savior would be proud of. What if we actually do loose that few pounds hanging over the pants that use to fit us. What if we just do it? I spend a whole lot of my time coming up with superb scenario's in my mind. I'm a regular pro at the pretending games, which is probably why I get along so well with children. So I guess my goal for this new year is to have no goals. No, because goals are something you just "reach" to complete. This year I am going to set expectations for myself. All I need to do now....is think of them.....hahaha I'm just kidding :)

Wishful Thinking...

I stayed home sick today from school. Mom's off at work, and so is dad. Its just me and my pooche here. Most of the time i really enjoy some alone time, today however I am left to way too much thought. So instead of driving myself crazy with a loopy-de-loop thought process that could be viewed as comical...or dangerous..haha I decieded to get out the Christmas decorations. Well unfortunatley this didn't help. Mainly due to the fact that I have realized that I do not pocess that girly characteristic of being able to decorate. I suck at it. So I gave up on that and sat on the floor frustrated surrounded by Christmas decorations. In my frustration I decieded to think about something I was good at! Present giving!! My mind kicked into over drive thinking of what I wanted to get people for Christmas! I started making a list in my head of the people i just HAD to get the perfect present for. Then I started brainstorming all the things I knew these amazing people deserved and how I wanted so bad to be the one to give it to them. It was a lot of fun! Until I realized something...I'm a hostess at a tiny restuarnt...who makes minimum wage. Wouldn't it be nice if I could be rich just for one holiday, just for a tiny bit. Oh me and my horrible decorating skills, lack of money, and wishful thinking.

And Now I Welcome You To....Limbo

You know what I have realized? How much of this life we spend waiting. Waiting for "him"...Waiting to drop those few pounds...Waiting in line at the grocery store...Waiting for a call....Waiting to hear back from a job...Waiting....Waiting..WAITING!!!! Luckly we normally find ourselves in the posistion of concentrating on waiting for one thing in particular. However...every now and then we find ourseleves at a point where we are waiting for EVERYTHING! This is a little place I like to call Limbo. I feel a bit like Nemo when I'm here. Like I'm in a fish bowl watching people come in and out of the doctor's office, occasionally pressing their faces up against the glass leaving smuges. I can't really move anywhere until I decied to break out! Then after I make this decision...I still have to wait for the perfect time to do it! Well here I am...welcome to Limbo. I have been accepted into the college I want to go to...I have sent our a few letters to some beloved missionary's of mine....and I have done (well at least I think I have) what I can for the people I love around me. I should probably consider putting up some decorations, possibly planting a few flowers, cause I think I'm going to be stuck in Limbo for quite some time.

I've Been Saved

The summer previous to my junior year I was struggling. Struggling with myself, with my religion, just the kind of person I wanted to be and the person I was allowing myself to turn into. This was the summer that I met you. It all started with a letter cordially inviting me to sit with them at lunch. So silly. Little did you know that you were saving me. You made me realize so much. Who I am, what I want, and that this gospel was true. I've always preached to everyone around me how great they were but I could never convince myself how great I was and that I was a true daughter of a king as well. You have helped me realize this. I can not thank you enough. I literally think about what you have done for me daily. I know that you're struggling right now, and believe it makes me hurt. I hurt so bad to watch you slowly forget how unbelievable you are. I just want you to know that it might not be OK right now, but it will be. You saved me and I will be here for you no matter what. I am praying for you daily, thinking of you constantly, and grateful for you eternally. I love you more than I can say, please...please know that.