I cannot believe how quickly my life is speeding past me. I feel like I'm on a really long car ride. I have my cheek pressed up against the window occasionally starring blindly as the blurred objects pass me by, concentrating at times on the beauty passing me by, closing my eyes and blocking out the ugly view every now and then, Throwing my head back in laughter because sometimes you just can't hold back the silly inside you anymore, but always anticipating something coming. My arrival to my long expected destination. This life I have so graciously been given is slurring past me and I think I am closing my eyes a little too much.
Im turning 20 in just a short month. How did that happen? Did I close my eyes one to many times on my road trip? Because I am feeling a little bit like I just want to stop and take some pictures at the next rest stop, even if its a desert town in the middle of no where. The pressure of figuring out my life is beginning to crash down on me leaving its marks.
Have I finally hit that place where I'm ready to start settling into what I can claim as my own? My own career. My own family. My own actions. My own consequences. My own life. My own love.
All of that sounds so enticing to me. I want to proudly claim each of those things that will ad up to make the legacy of what I am calling my life. If thats true why is it my lip starts to quiver a bit everytime I think about it?
What if I'm not good enough? What if I land flat on my face? What happens if I can't find love in this life? Are any of these cliche questions a good enough reason to keep myself from throwing everything I have into it? And how do I best go about doing that?
Can I just stay twenty-teen for a little bit longer?
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