Not Enough

Sometimes questions you aren't really sure if you want the real answer to are great to just send out there. I think that's why God created the Internet. So we can each send out questions, knowing that we may not get an answer, but also knowing that the most important part was that we got to ask it. So I am going to ask a question. 

Has anyone ever felt like they just weren't enough? For anything really. Not that you are awful at everything you try, but that you just aren't really enough? And if you have, where do you go from here?

I have always struggled a bit with self worth, knowing that I am a divine child of God, but not really believing in all the potential those four words can hold. I have never in my life though had a harder time with this struggle, trial, this fear of mine. What am I enough for? 

This feeling of not being enough often causes for the need to prove. I am constantly feeling as if I need to be proving myself to others, to myself, to God, but to be honest, I don't even know what it is that I 

am trying to prove anymore. 

Do I want to prove that i AM enough? Or am I scared that if I attempt to prove that and fail, it is no longer a question that I get to cast out into the abyss of the great and terrible Internet, it would be undeniable that I was not enough. Or is it possible that I am looking to prove that maybe I am not enough, and maybe that is OK. 

The older I get the more I realise that it isn't really an option of just being OK with not being enough. Someday I want to be enough for a man, he'll only want me, and he'll want me all the time. Someday I want to be enough for society, that I'll contribute a skill to help and to benefit. Someday I want to be enough for the wonderful friends and family I have in my life, to be someone they deserve. And one day I want to be the woman that my God could be proud of. A woman He smiles down on admiring my bravery in facing the world and believing in what I could become. 

I am praying that one of these days, hopefully sooner rather than later, I will feel that I am enough. Until that day comes, I guess I can just ask the questions I am scared to answer myself.